Monday, November 06, 2006

 

Put Me In Coach....Please


Ummm, Coach. Yeah. So….how’s it going? Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good in case you were wondering. Im ready to, you know, get back out there whenever you say. Did you see me doing those sprints earlier in your front yard? Yeah, that was me. My ankle is as strong as ever. I’ve been running on it for days now, actually. I swear my foot feels great. What? You think I’m limping still? You heard my back is sore also? Who said that? Garrard? I don’t know. It feels pretty good. How about letting me take a few snaps with the first team?

What? Yeah, I guess that was a decent win yesterday. Thanks to our defense. It's not like we were playing the Colts, you know. I'm just sayin'. Lots of missed opportunities on offense also. We gotta do something about that before it's too late.

I know I told you I was ready to play last Sunday. But you were right- it was probably better for me to just sit that one out. I mean, you didn’t really bench me. I was hurt and you sat me for my own good. Saving me for the big games, right? But I’m ready now. Oh yeah, 100% ready. Coach?

What do I think of Garrard? Umm, well…. he’s ok, I guess. For a 4th Round pick. He’s kind of short, though, isn’t he? And he sure is quick to run with the ball. I mean, its gotta piss you off when you call a play and he just starts running. Does he think you're an asshole or something? Maybe he just doesn't respect the play-calling. I'd hate it if a player didn't listen to me, but I guess you are cool with it. He definitely has happy feet back there. He probably can't even see over the fucking line. Pussy.

Hey coach, did you know Im 6ft 4? Yeah, it's true. I'm pretty tall, even for a quarterback. I was drafted real high, you know. Yep. Remember how my lineman carried me up the field back when I was at Marshall? Anything for the team.

Like I was saying to Wayne the other day. You know, Mr. Weaver? Great guy. Well I was over at Wayne's the other night talking about things. Boy, he sure spent a lot of money on me.

Do you like Herm Edwards? Yeah, me too. I heard he’s going to play Trent Green as soon as he comes back from that concussion. Makes sense to me. I mean, you know what they say, right? A player doesn’t lose his job to injury. Sure would be a dick move to do something like that to a guy.

What? You think I need another week off to rest my ankle? You want me to be super duper duper healthy when I come back? I’m not sure I agree with you there, coach. I mean, my foot feels fine. Really. I know you don’t want me to get hurt out there, but hey, I’m willing to risk it.

Coach?

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