Tuesday, October 17, 2006


(Not Quite) Mid-Season Review

Man, what happened to this place? The writers of this blog make JD Salinger look prolific. Hoping to give the site a boost, here are some mid-season awards and predictions. This is first-draft material, so if you are expecting something funny and insightful, write it yourself.

MVP- Donovan McNabb. McNabb has the Eagles in first place and is playing the best football of his career. Currently, McNabb leads the NFL in yards passing, TDs and passer rating. Can he keep it up? I see no reason why not. The guy is also getting it done without any big name receivers. Runners Up- Peyton Manning. Ok, he's not putting up the crazy numbers he usually does- but he's still ranked number 4 in passer rating and has the Colts undefeated. Drew Brees- what's he doing here? Well the Saints have only one loss and I give most of that credit to their QB. Brees is 4th is passing yards and 7th in passer rating. He's spreading the ball around to lots of guys and keeps defenses guessing- he's also a very underrated leader. You think the Saints would be where they are if they had Aaron Brooks still at QB? Not.

Most disappointing Player of Year- This is a close vote. But I have to go with The Edge after his horrible MNF performance against Chicago. He demands the ball late in the games because he says he's such a good closer- well if he keeps closing like that then Mitch and Murray are going to fire his fucking ass cause a loser is a loser. Runner ups- Randy Moss. It almost makes me sad to see such apathy from someone so gifted. Sort of like Eddie Murphy post 1989. This guy is arguably the most talented WR of all time- and he has basically fallen off of the map. In his defense, he's got a young QB throwing to him and the guy calling plays runs a B&B. Daunte Culpepper- I almost didn't put him on the list because I never really expected much from him. But when you get benched for Joey Harrington, you have exceeded even my low expectations. Daunte- you officially suck.

Rookie of the Year- Reggie Bush. Yeah he's not gonna set a TD record this season, but he is currently ranked 4th in the league in receptions. Runners Up- Marques Colston. Another Saint. What a steal this guy was in the 7th round. Shows you why it rarely makes sense to draft a WR in the first round. Colston is ranked 13 in receiving yards and also has 4 TDs. Mark Anderson- DE, Chicago Bears. I had not really heard much about this guy until I watched him sack Leinart on Monday. The guy has 6.5 sacks and is obviously doing something right.

Best shoe across the face- No real contest here. Albert Haynesworth. Although that guy from the "U" who kicked that guy "across the ocean" at FIU has potential.

Coach of the Year
Sean Payton- It's hard to find a more worthy scab than Payton. He's got his team atop the division when most were picking them to finish last.

AFC North
After getting off to a strong start, the Ravens have lost two in a row and, as usual, the culprit is the offense. Jamal Lewis is a shell of his former self, as is McNair. I see them collapsing. Cincinnati is also in disarray, and it's hard to figure out exactly why. Maybe the off-field stuff is finally having an impact. Look for the Ravens to fade and the Steelers and Bengals to battle it out for the division.

AFC South
Indy-- If it's the regular season, then the Colts must be undefeated. Their rush D, however, is piss-poor. Picking up McFarland will definitely help them. Should win the division easily. J-Ville- will make a push for the playoffs with their defense. But recent injury to Mike Peterson hurts them. Also need to see more from the offense. It's like a poor man's version of Martyball over there.

AFC East
This is still New England's division. I think they will improve as the season goes on and Brady gets more comfortable with his receivers. Should be a tough out come playoff time. No one else in this division is worth a comment.

AFC West
San Diego-- Marty obviously listened to the criticism out there and has loosened the reins on Rivers- who appears to be more than a mere than a "game manager." Their defense is as good as anyone's. They are a legit Super Bowl threat.

Its going to be Denver and Whale's Vagina right to the very end. I'll take San Diego- they are more balanced and Rivers is showing that he was worthy of the number three pick a few years ago. They are also lightening up LDT's load, which makes sense for them, if not for the fantasy geeks who have him on their team. Denver is playing good D, but their offense is wack and I don't trust Plummer in the post-season.

NFC North
Was Monday a harbinger of things to come for Chicago? Probably not. Grossman isn't that bad, but he's probably not as good as the first few games either. But who is going to challenge them in this division? The Vikings and Brad Johnson's 2 yard passes? Detroit finally got a win and have a very good WR in Roy Williams. He's a legit pro bowler if ya dont know. But they are still a Matt Millen pink slip away from contending. The Pack? They suck. Let's just go ahead and "crown" the Bears.

NFC South
Carolina is back from that 0-2 start and have Steve Smith to thank for that. Smith is pound for pound the toughest dude in the league. He looks like he's always pissed off. Julius Peppers is also leading the league in sacks.

The Falcons are a team I can't figure out- sometimes they look really good, then they look like crap against the Giants last week. Their run defense got abused by Tiki. Vick still can't throw, but is still the most exciting player in the league. If forced to come from behind and throw, they simply cannot do it. The Saints are in first place and are not going away. Will they win the division? Not sure, but they are not a fluke. No one has as many weapons on offense as the Saints.

NFC East
Like the NFC South, this division is very competitive, with only the Skins having no real shot. Im going with the Cowboys, but won't be surprised if Philly or NYG win it.

NFC West
The Seahawks need Alexander back- but God is apparently fucking with him by not healing his foot fast enough. St. Louis is hanging tough with Torry Holt leading the way. This guy is a future Hall of Famer. Stephen Jackson is also having a productive year, validating my high fantasy pick. If he would just stay out of night-clubs and stop beating up short-armed midgets, I think he could really have a break out season.

There's nothing I'd rather do than make fun of NFL players, especially in a fantasy context.

Alas, with the new job I can't find a free minute. And here I was thinking the Bukkake Chronicles would be a big hit. Just think: Matt Leinart's diary about his first start!
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