Saturday, October 28, 2006


Fast Forward

Can we just skip Saturday for once?

I know it would make use lose a precious weekend day, but honestly, I can't think of another Saturday that I just wanted to be Sunday. I hate it that this makes me sound like a bad Monday Night Football commercial, but it's true.

The World Series is over, so we don't have any more baseball to look forward to (unless they're televising the MLB All Star vs NPB All Star games). There is the convenient bonus of no more Tim McCarver or Scooter the talking baseball, although Joe Buck is becomingly frighteningly ubiquitous and Chevy is probably going to keep airing those "This is Our Country" ads until the next natural disaster, after which they will have a new catastrophe to exploit and splice together with images of the Civil Rights Movement. I don't get it either.

The NCAA Football schedule is incredibly weak today, with both the number one and two teams in the country, Ohio State and Michigan, respectively, facing teams that are winless in the Big Ten. Both teams, Minnesota and Northwestern, are notorious for porous run defenses that get the term "gaping hole" appended to them more than a gonzo anal porn flick.

I suppose it would make for a great upset story, but it just seems pretty unlikely to me.

There's only one matchup between two ranked teams, and, at least to me, the only moderately interesting games probably won't be televised. I'm interested to see how many yards the Air Force Falcons, which has averaged 279 yards on the ground per game (think the Atlanta Falcons of the NCAA) can put up on the ground against BYU, and I'm interested in how many inflatable penises make it to the Penn State vs. Perdue tilt.

I know people are probably going to fixate GA v. FL and G. Tech vs. Miami (Fl) today, but I can't get excited about either game.

The Bulldogs have no clue who their quarterback is, it seems, while Florida is sitting pretty with Tebow and Leak. I would have to say that UGA is going to be a pretty big underdog in this one.

As for the Yellow Jackets against the Canes, something about letting 12 players involved in the big brawl against FIU back into a big game against a conference foe just rubs me the wrong way. You could say that it was just convenient, but it doesn't seem like punishment to me if a dozen players miss a cushy game against a horrible Duke team and get to run back on the field in a tough matchup that will help decide the conference champion. That said, Miami has a rough schedule ahead of it, while Ga Tech should be able to more or less coast into their season finale against the Bulldogs.

So there you have it. Saturday football? Meh.

Bring on Sunday.

My picks for the AFC North (home team in CAPS)

Atlanta at CINCINNATI (-3.5) - Mike Vick is coming off a career performance against the Steelers, but I would look for them to work their run game more today against a weak Cincinnati run defense. I think if Vick throws more than 25 times, he'll get burned. And I think Chad Johnson could live up to his boasts this week. Either that, or the Falcons will double him too much and let TJ Houshmandzadeh get some big plays in. I'll take the BENGALS.

Baltimore (+2) at NEW ORLEANS - The Ravens wouldn't have the quarterback troubles they are having if Jamal Lewis was rushing like his old self. As it is, Lewis hasn't broken the century mark this season, the Ravens haven't established the run game, and the quarterbacks have been forced to throw way too often. That said, I don't like the Saints run defense. The Ravens are coming off a bye week and Lewis should be rested (one hopes). I think he gains 100 yards for the first time this season, and the RAVENS take the upset in the Superdome.

New York Jets (+1.5) at CLEVELAND - How are the Browns favored in this game? They have no run offense, and consequently, they have no offense at all. I know the Jets defense has been horrible, but I think they can contain Reuben Droughns, who is averaging 3.2 yards a carry. The Browns pass rush is poor, and they aren't very opportunistic. If Chad Pennington can sit in the pocket and find his receivers, the Jets will be all over the Browns. Take the JETS.

Pittsburgh (-9) at OAKLAND - This doesn't look right to me. Pittsburgh is going into Oakland at 2-4, with Ben Roesthlisberger banged up, after they gave up 41 points to the Falcons. Does this look like an upset special to anyone else? I can't take the Raiders though. Their offense is still non-existant, even though Randy Moss popped his head up to say hi last week. Pittsburgh is going to run the ball all day, especially if Big Ben's head is still ringing. Willie Parker has a big game every other game. Since he only went for 47 yards against the Falcons, I think he'll have a big game today. Take the STEELERS.

my major malfunction this weekend was that the BC eagles/Buffalo game was ONLY on espn360, leaving me the choice between getting rained on in the lower level, or listening to the radio if i wanted to keep up with it
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