Friday, September 22, 2006

 

The AFC West... well, it sucks.

Staring at Lindsay Lohan’s vagina has made me realize that we are all not long for this world. In the same vain, I don’t think anyone from the AFC West is not long for the playoffs—yes, not even the Chargers. The other day on ESPN, some numbnut was going over their top five teams in the AFC, and not one was an AFCW team. Then they added the Chargers as an afterthought. I’m not one who rubber stamps things that those guys say, but I will agree. For those who disagree, let’s see the Bolts play two teams who don’t automatically crap the bed before they hit the field (Oakland and Tennessee).

Staring at Lindsay Lohan’s vagina has made me realize that we are all not long for this world. In the same vain, I don’t think anyone from the AFC West is not long for the playoffs—yes, not even the Chargers. The other day on ESPN, some numbnut was going over their top five teams in the AFC, and not one was an AFCW team. Then they added the Chargers as an afterthought. I’m not one who rubber stamps things that those guys say, but I will agree. For those who disagree, let’s see the Bolts play two teams who don’t automatically crap the bed before they hit the field (Oakland and Tennessee).

Quarterbacks:
The Raiders quarterbacks combined to throw… one hit. One damn hit, that’s all we got? (You can’t say damn on the radio) Doesn’t matter. No one’s listening anyway. That sort of sums up the Raiders season so far. Oh yeah, and Aaron Brooks got knocked out of the game. Hooray Bear.

Jake Plummer continued his slow descent into football obscurity by throwing for 173 yards and an interception (that’s seven in his last three games). Shanahan has given him a vote of confidence, but one more game like this and Cutler will be the number one pick up on the waiver wire hotlist. As his owner drowning mice said, “You see Plummer's projected 13 points? That's for the season.”

Philip Rivers actually threw the ball more than 11 times last week, throwing for 235 yards and a score. Billy Volek was traded to the Bolts/Dolts this week, officially screwing me because I picked him up as my 2nd QB. Jerk.

Damon Huard continued following Jake Plummer (see above) by throwing for an amazing 133 yards in the KC-Denver 9-6 shootout. Unfortunately for KC fans, Trent Green’s return date has been mentioned as a month to indefinite. Man, Herm doesn’t have any luck with his QBs, does he?

Running Backs:
I like it when someone say they’re gonna do something, they do it. Not like people who propose articles from people to run on Tuesday, only to turn it in on Friday. You know, like me. The former props go to LDT, who continues to warrant his Top-3 pick status by kicking foes to the curb (but if I’m going to criticize the SD team as a whole for playing cupcakes, then I should for him… though he’s been doing the same thing his whole career). He ran for two more scores and a combined 123 yards. And that’s playing only 3 quarters. His fill-in Michael Turner had even more yards (145), which is amazing.

Larry Johnson also had a ton of yards (167), but he couldn’t hit paydirt in that 9-6 KC loss to Denver. It seems like missing Trent Green and his O-Line is going to be rough for him in the next month or so. Having Herm doesn’t help him either, considering his play calling is more conservative than a Karl Rove dinner party. On the other side of the ball, DENVER RB had a combined 122 yards (56 for Mike, 66 for Tatumn), but again had no TDs. And Mike Bell got hurt earlier in the week, which doesn’t help, more so than Plummer stinking up the joint.

LaMont Jordan does not suck. The Raiders do. Let’s hope his next three (v. Cleveland, Arizona and San Fran) yields better numbers for him than last week (35 yards).

WRs and TEs:
With QBs falling (both physically and mentally) left and right in the AFCW, there’s no real offense happening in the division. Not even the running backs are getting any love (on an ESPN chat, someone asked if it was okay to trade LaMont for Drew Bennett-and the answer was yes). So that means that anyone whose job is actually catching the ball has been a fantasy bust so far. Javon Walker by far had the best day, catching 79 yards for the Broncos, followed by Keenan McCardell’s 58 yards for the Chargers. SD’s Vincent Jackson was the only person to catch a touchdown pass, an 8 yard job against the Titans.

FORECAST:
Luckily for Oakland, a bye week awaits them, and they have two weeks to prepare the team for the Browns. God, if they don’t score more than 10 points, let the official 0-16 talk begin. As well as my burning of anything with Raider Jack on it. San Diego and KC also have byes.

That leaves Denver vs. New England in the Sunday night game. I’m actually thinking Plummer has a good game here because I’m thinking the Broncos will have to throw most of the game, down by at least 10 though out most of it. Plummer throws for 225 and a TD (most likely to Walker), while DENVER RB has a combined 150 yards and another score.

The Raiders quarterbacks combined to throw… one hit. One damn hit, that’s all we got? (You can’t say damn on the radio) Doesn’t matter. No one’s listening anyway. That sort of sums up the Raiders season so far. Oh yeah, and Aaron Brooks got knocked out of the game. Hooray Bear.

Jake Plummer continued his slow descent into football obscurity by throwing for 173 yards and an interception (that’s seven in his last three games). Shanahan has given him a vote of confidence, but one more game like this and Cutler will be the number one pick up on the waiver wire hotlist. As his owner drowning mice said, “You see Plummer's projected 13 points? That's for the season.”

Philip Rivers actually threw the ball more than 11 times last week, throwing for 235 yards and a score. Billy Volek was traded to the Bolts/Dolts this week, officially screwing me because I picked him up as my 2nd QB. Jerk.

Damon Huard continued following Jake Plummer (see above) by throwing for an amazing 133 yards in the KC-Denver 9-6 shootout. Unfortunately for KC fans, Trent Green’s return date has been mentioned as a month to indefinite. Man, Herm doesn’t have any luck with his QBs, does he?

Running Backs:
I like it when someone say they’re gonna do something, they do it. Not like people who propose articles from people to run on Tuesday, only to turn it in on Friday. You know, like me. The former props go to LDT, who continues to warrant his Top-3 pick status by kicking foes to the curb (but if I’m going to criticize the SD team as a whole for playing cupcakes, then I should for him… though he’s been doing the same thing his whole career). He ran for two more scores and a combined 123 yards. And that’s playing only 3 quarters. His fill-in Michael Turner had even more yards (145), which is amazing.

Larry Johnson also had a ton of yards (167), but he couldn’t hit paydirt in that 9-6 KC loss to Denver. It seems like missing Trent Green and his O-Line is going to be rough for him in the next month or so. Having Herm doesn’t help him either, considering his play calling is more conservative than a Karl Rove dinner party. On the other side of the ball, DENVER RB had a combined 122 yards (56 for Mike, 66 for Tatumn), but again had no TDs. And Mike Bell got hurt earlier in the week, which doesn’t help, more so than Plummer stinking up the joint.

LaMont Jordan does not suck. The Raiders do. Let’s hope his next three (v. Cleveland, Arizona and San Fran) yields better numbers for him than last week (35 yards).

WRs and TEs:
With QBs falling (both physically and mentally) left and right in the AFCW, there’s no real offense happening in the division. Not even the running backs are getting any love (on an ESPN chat, someone asked if it was okay to trade LaMont for Drew Bennett-and the answer was yes). So that means that anyone whose job is actually catching the ball has been a fantasy bust so far. Javon Walker by far had the best day, catching 79 yards for the Broncos, followed by Keenan McCardell’s 58 yards for the Chargers. SD’s Vincent Jackson was the only person to catch a touchdown pass, an 8 yard job against the Titans.

FORECAST:
Luckily for Oakland, a bye week awaits them, and they have two weeks to prepare the team for the Browns. God, if they don’t score more than 10 points, let the official 0-16 talk begin. As well as my burning of anything with Raider Jack on it. San Diego and KC also have byes.

That leaves Denver vs. New England in the Sunday night game. I’m actually thinking Plummer has a good game here because I’m thinking the Broncos will have to throw most of the game, down by at least 10 though out most of it. Plummer throws for 225 and a TD (most likely to Walker), while DENVER RB has a combined 150 yards and another score.

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