Friday, August 25, 2006


My Draft, or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Pick Steven Jackson

Face it- a monkey, or even Matt Millen, could pick from spots 1-3 in this year's fantasy draft and not screw it up. LJ, LDT and Alexander were no brainers and, predictably, went in that order in our draft. So that left me, Mary Beth's Box, with the best of the rest to choose from.

This first pick could very well make or break my team, so I needed to make the call before draft night- where, frankly, I might be too drunk to make a rational decision. Do I take Tiki Barber? No denying he put up fantastic numbers last season. The guy is very elusive and able to get through even the smallest hole, much like John Karr on a date with a 5 year old. Or do I draft Peyton Manning? Its not like his post-season statistics would be an issue. Through a process of elimination, I ultimately settled on Steven Jackson of the Rams.

As soon as the pick was made, others in the league began to question the selection. Taking Jackson certainly wasn't the safe decision, and maybe it wasn't even a smart one. And now, a few days later, I do have a a twinge of buyer's remorse. It would not be the first time I made a choice that I later regretted. Like the time I let this black kid at the Y borrow my Ipod. I'm still looking for that little shit. Anyway, sometimes you just gotta go with your gut and hope it works out. I think Denny Green said something like that after drafting Dimitrius Underwood.

Since this is a league that only requires one starting RB, I decided to fill the WR position next. It is important to note that last year I got fucked at this position in one of my 39 fantasy teams. Unless you survived the Holocaust or also drafted both Nate Burleson and Michael Clayton last season, I don't think you know what real suffering is all about. With my second round pick, I selected Reggie Wayne. Along with Plaxico Burress, I think I have a decent 1-2 punch at receiver.

Next up was quarterback- my strategy has always been to wait to draft the QB spot in the later rounds. The problem with this strategy is that you usually end up with a shitty QB. My starting QB? Byron Leftwich.

Although black, Byron Leftwich has the speed of a white, middle aged accountant. (Well known fact- in college Leftwich was once carried to the huddle by two of his offensive lineman. Lesser known fact- they carried him, not due to injury, but because the team was in its hurry up offense and it was actually faster to carry the fat Leftwich rather than have him walk to the huddle on his own.) Because Leftwich might not be the answer at QB, I needed a competent backup. Unable to find a competent backup, I was forced to take Phillip Rivers.

So there you have it. Let the games begin.

I love the Dr. Strangelove reference, this blog better be fantasy football with a mix of popular culture music and movies or I will be an angry motherfuckin' administrator. Also loved the Karr joke and the throwback to Underwood...Good times for Vikings...then Dolphins...then Cowboys
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