Monday, August 28, 2006


Fantasy, like real games, requires practice

I just finished my third and final fantasy draft of the season, and it was a gem - Carson Palmer at QB, LT at RB, a solid receiving corps, a good defense and kicker, and a bench of young gambles, proven role players, and injury insurance. I feel great about it, and look forward to being able to humbly accept praise (and money) from my grad school friends come December.

Unfortunately, the draft for this league was my first draft of the year. So things didn't go so well. And instead of accolades, all I have to look forward to on this page is well-deserved mockery. Let's go to the tape:

Round 1: I have the #2 pick overall. Between LT and Shaun Alexander, I actually prefer LT this year - with Steve Hutchinson leaving the Hawks for the Vikes, I feel like the Hawks line won't be as good for Sweet Shaun as it has in the past, and LT is a better receiving back. Needless to say, Shaun will now repeat as MVP and LT will breakdown in Week 3. I don't want to cheer for the Madden curse, but ... I'm cheering for the Madden curse.

Round 2: Pick #31, and there is a LOT of talent off the board. I don't want to reach for a quarterback, and I don't like any of the RBs left on the board that early either. I settle for Hines Ward. I know he's solid and everything, but I feel lame taking him the 2nd. I immediately regret the decision. Milk was a bad choice.

Round 3: Pick #34, and suddenly, reaching for a QB doesn't seem so bad with 28 picks before my next selection. Hasselbeck's off the board, so I go for Little Manning. WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? As someone would say afterwards, "The problem with Eli is that he has the Manning Face, but without the garbage time stats to use as rationalization." Ugh.

Round 4: Pick #63, or as I like to refer to it, "The Pick That Sealed My Fate." I want another WR, and I take Deion Branch. Immediately, the other guys kill me on the chat board. In honesty, I hadn't been following his contract negotations - I had no clue they were going so bad. To make matters worse, while everyone else in the draft is getting Vanderjagted, I have interviews starting at 9am and am thus limited to mainlining Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi. Things are not exactly coming up Eirishis.

Rounds 5-10: Still in a daze from my last two picks, I rattle off an impressive string of poor picks. Here they are, with the best smack heard afterwards, either in the draft chatroom or from friends the next day:
Finally, at 11 (#162 overall), I strike gold, stealing a fucking soldier to start at TE. At least, the guys in the league said that was a steal. I'm a Browns fan. I know better. He'll get hurt again, and I'll be stuck with a man named Bubba at tight end. I don't feel much better about getting Brad Johnson as my backup QB in the 12th, seeing as how his top receiver apparently went to the same rehab program as the Hoff. Too bad Koren Robinson played football at N.C. State instead of basketball at Duke. I hear they are more OK with DUIs in Durham.

So, what have I learned? Like so many other things in life, practice makes perfect - I learned from my mistakes in this draft. This league is going to be a lot of fun - it's always great to play fantasy with guys who are as passionate about football (fantasy and reality) as I am, no matter where you finish. But the pleasure will be purely based on this blog and the chatter between players, 'cause the Blaine (MO) Players will be waiting for their big break for a long, long time.

It's like when you start a franchise in Madden. You always suck through your first fantasy draft, so you scrap the franchise and start over again.
Devin Hester is the bomb in Madden him and Arnaz Battle....
This league was my third draft, and I've still got one more Thursday night. Lots of leagues means lots of people doing research for you, dog.
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